Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Odd Couples: Scarlett & Ryan

So here's a second celebrity couple that troubles and confuses me: Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds.

Scarlett and Ryan (who is better known to some of you, I'm sure, as Van Wilder) had been dating for around a year before they officially announced their engagement in May of this year. Then, in September, they surprised everyone by eloping in Reynold's native Canada where they were wed in a small resort outside of Vancouver. Their relationship sort of mirrors Mariah and Nick's in several way, including the fact that Scarlett and Ryan are now talking about holding a second wedding celebration so friends and family can attend.

So why do I think their relationship is a bit off? Well first off there's the fact that they've been together for less than 2 years and they've already raced down the aisle. Plus, Ryan is 32 and Scarlett is only 24. I would ask why she's getting married at all at 24, but I guess sometimes they get married and start raising families young in Hollywood (Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe come to mind). It's sort of like Kentucky that way.

But there's more...

Scarlett

Scarlett is like an A-list movie star. She won a BAFTA for her role in Sophia Coppola's Lost in Translation; she's worked with the Coen Brothers (in The Man Who Wasn't There), Brian DePalma (The Black Dahlia – which I still want to see. Did that really suck??), and she was in no less than three Woody Allen movies (Match Point, Scoop and Vicky Cristina Barcelona). Granted, I've only watched Scoop so far: it was kind of cute although definitely not Woody's best film. I also think Scarlett was a bit miscast in it as a mouthy, Jewish glasses girl (YES, I do know that Scarlett is actually Jewish). Scarlett also played beside Thora Birch in one of my favorite movies, Ghost World, when she was like 16. And I heard that she blew Natalie Portman out of the water in that Other Boleyn Girl movie (although maybe the movie as a whole sucked?? I still kind of want to see it.)

Scarlett is also crazy beautiful: she can exude classic Hollywood glamour and she also does a good sex kitten. We'll leave aside that bizarre album of Tom Waites covers she came out with this year and that incident when she claimed to be BFFs with Barack and he denied it.

Ryan

Ryan Reynolds is clearly nowhere near her level of stardom or talent. Besides Van Wilder (in which he starred opposite Tara Reid, lest we forget), what else has he been in? He was the father in that bad Amityville Horror remake where he sported a lumberjack beard and somehow managed to fade into the background even though he was apparently the lead and the murderer! And then he was in that Waiting comedy about the service industry (Amanda saw it and told me he comes off as a douche in it). Oh, and he's apparently in the X-Men Origins movie that's coming out next year. So basically his oeuvre is made up of stupid comedies, a bad horror remake, an ailing superhero franchise sequel, and a bunch of B-movie crap no one watches.

Work aside, I guess Ryan is good looking but he also seems like he might be an ass. First off, there's his relationship history. Before Scarlett, he was engaged to fellow Canadian Alanis Morissette. I think everything we need to know about that relationship can be gleaned from Alanis' post-breakup appearance on the Howard Stern show (you can find it in its entirety on YouTube). Alanis demurred when Howard asked her if Ryan straight-up dumped her for Scarlett, and the guys in her band make it sound like they always kind of thought he was an asshole but didn't want to say anything. Alanis actually comes off as kind of awesome in the interview, and Howard seems very supportive and protective of her – maybe you want to go ahead and watch the video.

So his track record does not say anything good about his character. Then there's that odd A Christmas Story-esque piece that Reynolds once wrote about his prankster brother for the Huffington Post. I'm not really sure how I feel about his essay: my first reaction was that it wasn't the best written thing I've ever read, but then again I guess Reynolds is an actor (?) and not a writer so like maybe we should cut him some slack and give him props for showing that he's literate and not a total idiot and for telling a somewhat amusing story. You all really need to read the essay yourself and tell me what you think.

Outlook

In conclusion, I think Ryan just isn't good enough for Scarlett not so much because he's in crappy movies, but because I suspect he's a douchebag. I can totally picture him like boasting about how he gets to bang one of the sexiest women alive, or like sharing all kinds of intimate details with a smirk after they break up. We'll see how long these two last and if they end up having children.



Image from JustJared.

14 comments:

nola32 said...

ok, so i totally see where you're coming from on this but i have a few points to make on ryan's behalf. firstly, i can't really blame the guy for making those stupid movies. yeah, 'waiting' (which was filmed in metairie on vets-- watch it again and you'll see all of the abita signs in the resto and in their apartment) was NOT a good movie but it was sort of cute in that, 'i guess i'll watch this on sunday afternoon as i have nothing better to do' kind of way. what career he does have was built on those 'waiting' and 'just friends' and 'van wilder' sort of flicks. it's not like they were 'little black book' bad, right?
secondly- we have to be real. he's fing hot. his body is rrrrridiculous. yeah, she's hotter but he's certainly in her league in terms of hotness (not celeb status but just looks dept.).
thirdly- i think he's gotten a bad rap on the movie front. he was in this film called, 'chaos theory' that came out last year. i rented it for some reason a few months ago and i have to say that i thought that it was really good (admittedly, there's a good chance that i was high when i watched it but whatevs). it was a serious film, not one of those comedies, but nobody paid attention because they don't want to see him acting in a serious role (even though i thought he was good).
lastly, i think that it is a bit much that she's so young and they're married now but she's not THAT young. and he's not THAT old (i'm 32!!! hello!!). maybe he is a douche, but i've never actually heard anyone say that about him. i think maybe you just want him to be because you don't think he's good enough for your little scarjo. she had to be with someone-- is there anyone you would have approved of? maybe she should be cast in mr. & mrs. smith the remake and then we can have the homewrecker pt II melodrama (although nobody could top the sheer audacity and 'i'm-so-much-better-than-all-of-youness' that that (expletive deleted) angie has).

yeah, so that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

Meeg said...

Yeah I guess you're right. Maybe he's not the worst and their age difference isn't that big. I'll watch Chaos Theory sometime and let you know what I think.

Missthangity said...

I'm perplexed by this argument you make for two people being wrong for each other. I admit I have not seen many of Ryan Reynolds' films with the exception of 'The Nines' which I saw at the Sundance Film Festival last year. BTW, he was incredible in the film. He spoke afterward from what I can tell appeared gracious, charming and humble. Maybe this was an act, but it seemed genuine to me. Regardless of whether or not I liked the film, I think it's ridiculous to speculate that two people aren't right for each other based on the illusory perception of career.

I followed the link to the story he wrote in the Washington Post. It doesn't seem to help your point at all. In my opinion the story is a wonderfully funny piece and above all, personal. Did you read the other essays he wrote on that site? I did. The one about the marathon? Why don't you look it up and let me know what you thought?

I live in Holland, and it really and truly saddens me to see how much baseless projection is woven into the very fabric of America's information culture. The internet has become a seemingly endless resource for people to posit enormous, awful projections about celebrity life. And almost anybody can do it too. All you need is two fingers and some spare time.

I say this with pity and not anger, but it only serves to reflect your own depraved, angry and jealous nature. And sadly, you're probably the last person to see it.

Good luck, Ingrid Vandusen

Meeg said...

WHOA, Ingrid, calm down there! Wild speculation about the happiness of celebrity couples is all in good fun. That said, I have 3 points to make in response to your argument:

(1) I took your advice and read Reynolds' HuffPo essay on why he chose to run the marathon. His tribute to his dad was touching, and his decision to run in order to raise money to fight Parkinsons' in commendable.

(2) The basis of my speculation that Reynolds is a jerk is not based on his career but on the allegations of his spurned ex -- hello?!

(3) Am I depraved: definitely. Am I angry: sometimes. Am I jealous: maybe?

Josie said...

the internet is an endless resource, which is great because if you don't like what you read you can move unto something else. And the Meeg needs noone's pity :)

Missthangity said...

I suppose you're right. I was really referring more to the popularity of "water cooler" talk on the internet.

I struggle with the notion that someone would put so much energy into writing a blog that's not particularly entertaining or insightful, but more or less a pit-stop with which to soil the communal drinking well. A whole webpage bereft of any beauty, humor or intelligence.

It's a wonderful privilege we all have in this cyber community to express ourselves with full-throated freedom of speech. I guess I'm just confounded that someone would devote so much energy to speculating on a relationship he'll never hope to know anything about (particularly the parts critical of Reynolds' writing style; of which it's clear he contains more literary skill in his eyelash than this Meeg person has in his entire family). I'd probably find it made sense if he were capable of expressing his thoughts in a way that bore even a passing resemblance to clever. Or interesting. Or funny.

I stumbled on this site after googling the phrase "Too much information." Ironically, that's exactly the opposite problem this blogger faces. I can agree with him on one thing though, I'm also a fan of Scarlett Johansson, who is wonderful.

Gratefully moving on,

Ingrid Vandusen

Meeg said...

So is Reynolds paying you to write this?? I mean if my writing an article about Scarlett Johansson and her husband is pissing in the wind than how much more of a waste of time is it to write out two comments telling me you don't appreciate my work?

Perhaps I'll never be another Dostojevskij, but I have no worries about how my writing stacks up to that of Van Wilder.

And I'll have you know my blog is bursting with all kinds of useless information some of which has nothing to do with celebrities or videos I found on the internet.

Ok, now that I got that off my chest, I'll stop responding to hater comments. You can go back to eating your smoked gouda and feeling superior and adoring your mediocre comedic actor.

nola32 said...

holy windmills people!! what the hell is going on up in here?

ms. vandusen,
clearly you haven't read more than the one blog entry on this site (or perhaps you've read a few that are 'celeb' related) but as a WRITER i can say that meeg actually writes very well. the fact that the blog posts are written in a conversational tone are nothing but a testament to how well he writes. nobody wants to read a blog entry about a celeb relationship that reads like a thesis. it's a BLOG. it's about ENTERTAINMENT.
i also must say that your comments are totally out of order. i made the argument that ryan reynolds was good, that i enjoyed him in 'chaos theory' and that i was convinced that he wasn't a good guy. the comments made by the author of this blog are exactly what MY comments are-- OPINIONS. if he wants to speculate about ryan reynolds being a jackass that is his right. ryan reynolds makes a tremendous amount of money and made the CHOICE to be an actor, a profession which thrusts him into the spotlight and makes scrutiny of him and his actions fair game. it might be sad that this is the case but it is the price that one must pay when they make millions of dollars for a couple of months work. they want us to look at pictures of them, they want us to listen when they talk, to spend our hard earned money going to see and/or purchase their films, to pay attention when they are arguing that we should give money to a charity. in short, he put HIMSELF in the position wherein he would be a target for blogs such as this one. if you'd like to go after someone, go after reynolds himself.

now go get pissy about something that really matters.

Amanda Fliger said...

Here, here nola32!

What is the true waste of time? "Speculating on a relationship he'll never hope to know anything about..." or writing lengthy responses bemoaning the state of the cyber-community and America? And nothing is a waste of time if it brings enoyment to the person doing it.

I think this blogger is an excellent writer who picks subjects of interest and depth--which you would know if you took half the amount of time to read them as you did crafting your pitying replies.

Keep it up Meeg. I am one of MANY fans.

Glad the topic police have decided to go elsewhere...

Meeg said...

Yey! Thanks for the "spontaneous" support. Y'all know how lazy I am so I really don't need anyone encouraging me not to write.

DLC said...

Whatever, the only thing wrong with this post is that Meeg forgot to mention Ryan's most important work. He was in Fifteen, the Canadian teen soap which starred many of today's nondescript white B list actors. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifteen_(TV_series)
Damn, Chris, I thought you'd have more respect for Canada's 3rd best teen soap after Degrassi and Degrassi TNG!!!!

Meeg said...

The only thing I remember about Degrassi was the episode where there's like skinheads who came to vandalize the synagogue and one of the kids blows the shofar to like call for help.

And let's not forgot how Alanis was on You Can't Do That On Television.

DLC said...

Then you are going to have to clear your schedule for the next three weekends, you have to learn aboot life from teens wise beyond their years.

Meeg said...

And does anyone remember that stupid "2 guys, a girl, and a pizza parlor" show that he used to be on? I think I've seen all of one episode of that.