Can we take some time here to discuss a few of mismatched celebrity couples whose relationships mystify me?
Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon
First off there's Mariah Carey who married Nick Cannon in May of this year on the isle of Eleuthera (which my friend D tells me is the Bahamas' "money island"). It was a small, unpublicised, and supposedly unplanned ceremony and guests included Da Brat. So why don't I get them as a couple? Well first of all there's the age difference: Mariah is 38 and Nick is 28 (I actually would have guessed the age gap was even greater than that). Mariah definitely still looks good at her age, but – I don't know – like, I can buy Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher as a couple despite their +15yr age difference since she seems so sporty and active that I don't think she has any trouble keeping up with her younger husband. But I don't get an active/sporty vibe from Mariah so much as I get "diva" and "recovering crazy" whereas Nick seems super athletic. I just can't imagine what these two do when they're spending time together. Plus we all know their track record...
Back in the '90s, Mariah spent 4 years married to a much older Tommy Mottola who was the CEO of Sony Music at the time. Mariah finally separated from him in 1997 (surprising nobody), and she would later tell the press that he had been a controlling husband. Then, after the spectacular failure that was Glitter (seriously one of the worst movies ever made), Mariah apparently lost her mind. For my money, there is no better testimony to Mariah's mental breakdown than her January 2002 appearance on MTV's cribs in which she shows the audience around her palatial Tribeca apartment while coming off as a total diva (the fish in her aquarium were specially trained to be nocturnal so she could enjoy them more at night) and starving for attention (the intimate bathtub scene). OMG, there's a video! You can find the whole episode on youtube.
Anyway, since then Mariah's supposedly regained her sanity. She gained a bunch of weight only to get back into shape again in time for the release of her new album, E=MC², this April. I kind of liked the idea of a zaftig Mariah Carey for some unknown reason, but I guess you need to stay fit if you want to snag yourself a toyboy husband.
As for Nick, you may remember how he started dating Selita Ebanks, a Victoria's Secrets model from the Cayman Islands, at the beginning of 2007 and that he waited less than six months (May 7, 2007) before proposing to her in a very public way (on the Jumbotron in Times Square). They broke up in October of last year, and then Nick went ahead and married Mariah less than a year later! [Insert joke about fools rushing in where "angels" fear to tread.] This all happened so quickly that rumors spread that Nick recycled the engagement ring he originally gave Selita, using the same ring with Mariah.
And what's happening with Nick's career? It looked like he was headed for the big time after his movie Drumline came out in 2002, and since then he put out an album that went gold (have you heard any of his music? I sure haven't.). I guess maybe he's big with like the Nickelodeon/MTV crowd (or at least he was), but I don't think he's in danger of approaching anything close to his wife's level of wealth and superstardom anytime soon.
What's going on with these crazy kids these days? According to the tabloids they were originally going to have a more lavish second wedding reception, but they nixed those plans after attempts to get the affair paid for by a magazine fell through. There's also been a lot of speculation that Mariah may be pregnant (Nick recently told Life & Styles he loves kids and thinks he'll be a good dad). In other "news", Mariah was supposedly a little annoyed at Nick's public revelation that they abstained from sex before marriage (say whaaa!?!?). Also, Nick reportedly bought Mariah a $1.5 million ski lodge in Aspen (note the comments speculating about what if anything you can buy in Aspen with $1.5 million).
So many questions... Are Mariah and Nick going to last? Do they have anything in common? Are they are real couple or did they marry each other for publicity? Is he after her money? Does she just want to have his baby? What do you all think?
Stay tuned to hear about another celebrity couple I don't get.
Photo of Mariah and Nick by AP. Photo and Nick's "Mariah" back tattoo (!) comes from the couple's wedding spread in People magazine (which can be found here).