One of our readers has suggested that this blog could do with a healthy dose of frivolous trash. >sighsuppose I can take a break from all the intellectual posts about history and nature in order to write something which will make us all feel a little dirty. See this, readers, if you write a comment I will actually read it, and your suggestions will be noted.
Anyway, Maxim magazine recently compiled a list of the "Five Unsexiest Women Alive," thus proving that straight men can be catty bitches too. When I read about this my first reaction was "wow, picking out five people and labelling them 'unsexy' -- that is so mean." Seriously, wouldn't you cry if someone compiled an unsexy list and put you on it? I think I would. But the second thought that ran through my mind was "must find out who else is on list." So let's run down the list, shall we, and (a) decide whether or not these ladies have been unfairly branded as "unsexy" and/or (b) talk smack about them.
#5 It's Britney, bitch
Ay! This is just what Brit Brit needs. I mean, talk about kicking a girl while she's down. Dlisted reports that Britney wanted to go let off some steam at a Maxim party on Tuesday night, but that was before her friends let her in on the fact that she was on the magazine's unsexy list. When she heard the news, she supposedly pouted and her eyes welled up with tears. Aww! I think we're all ready for that Britney comeback that may never happen right about now both because (a) classic Britney gave us some fun songs, and (b) this whole "hitting rock bottom" thing has been going on for so long that it's not even entertaining anymore.
Ooh, I love the Madonna hate. First of all, the boys at Maxim rightly point out that we are all sick and tired of hearing about Madge's quasi-Jewish, Kabbalah bullshit and her adopted Malawian baby. Speaking of the baby, I like to think that she brought him home just to spite Lourdes. You know that little girl is a big diva. Some might point out that Madonna usually looks damn good for a woman of 60 (or however old she is), but she's definitely lost her sexy edge as of late. I think that maybe, just as Angelina and Brad have been draining the sexy out of each other ever since they got together (and I owe that observation to Nicole), Madonna and Guy Ritchie have also sucked the sexy and the talent out of one another since they tied the knot.
#3 Sandra Oh
The Maxim guys say Sandra has a skinny boy body. Wow, mean. I mean I guess Sandra Oh doesn't exude sex, but then again she didn't do too bad in Sideways. I do get the feeling however that life for her entails a daily struggle against the frump. Moreover, Scandalous Candice points out that she sort of looks like she's surprised all the time (check out her eyebrows). I don't watch that Grey's Anatomy crap, but have you ever seen the movie Double Happiness? It is a pretty decent independent movie from the '90s starring Sandra Oh, and it's all about growing up Chinese Canadian, and your family being all in your business and controlling, and sweet red bean buns (mmm). If that sounds at all interesting to you, you should check it out.
I would also like to go ahead and call bullshit on this whole list. Do you really think the single writers and readers of Maxim wouldn't sleep with any one of these ladies if they got the chance? I would bet money that these women are more attractive than half of the girls they pick up in bars.
Top 5 pics were all found on www.maxim.com. Britney pic (c) Mark J Terrill/AP Photos, Madonna pic (c) Alastair Grant/AP Photos, Amy Winehouse pic (c) Jeff Christensen/AP Photos, SJP pic (c) Jennifer Graylock/AP Photos. Square Pegs pic is a still from TV Land.